Dear all.

It’s been a long while since I wrote something and a lot of people have written and asked what is going on and how I am. During the last month, I haven’t had the energy to keep in touch with everyone as I did in the beginning. I’ve needed time for myself to recover from the first chemo treatment. A lot of things has been happening, but I will not go through them here, I will keep it to myself, at least for now. That is not to say that I haven’t talked with anyone at all, I just don’t feel like being as open with everything as I did before.

In mid-January, I had a second treatment, this time with injections during five days along with tablets in the morning. This treatment did not hit me in any way as hard as the first one did. I haven’t even become neutropenic (basically having zero white blood cells, i.e. no immune system). I have a “normal” cold at the moment, but nothing that means that I need to be hospitalized. The same treatment will start again on Monday, however, they say that you usually get more sick the 2nd time, especially the nausea can get worse, so that is something to look forward to.

The doctors’ plan at the moment is to do the injection treatment two times at first and then one or two more if needed. Then they will decide if we should try radiation if the tumor isn’t gone. They have told me that there is a risk that there are tumors in my body that they still haven’t been able to detect on the X-rays and therefore they want to treat my whole body with chemo rather than referring me to the radiation clinic where they would only be focusing on my heart.

I do appreciate all the support I get, but there will be unanswered messages I’m afraid and I hope no one takes offense. If I do not answer, it is nothing personal. It is and has been very tough. More so than the first time I was diagnosed and there are a lot of things to deal with.

10 Replies to “Dear all.”

  1. Fina Hanna, tänker på dig. Vill så gärna träffa dig men förstår att det inte går på ett tag. Stor kram ❤️❤️❤️

  2. Hanna,
    I just want you to know your Minnesota cousins are thinking of you and praying for comfort and healing. I read daily devotions and would like to share’s today’s (Thursday, Feb. 21) with you from the Daily Word:
    “I am one with God. Holding steadfastly to the truth of my natural wholeness, I am renewed in body and mind. Becoming aware of my ability and power to change thoughts, perspectives, and habits is the beginning of the renewal process. I consciously observe my thought patterns and seek to reevaluate any beliefs contrary to my well-being and divine potential. I make a renewed commitment to self-care and to provide my body with adequate rest, nourishment, and encouragement. My whole being responds in kind. I begin to see myself in new, positive ways, fully expressing divine life within me. I am enthusiastic and uplifted in spirit. Just as new growth sprouts forth from trees after dormancy, I am renewed, ready to begin again.”

    My prayer for you is for renewal, may the treatment kill the bad cells, and new and resistant cells take their place. Just as the trees survive the winter and bloom anew in the spring.

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